Think On These Things

The Grocery List

I went to the grocery store for a few items on Thursday. Coffee, foil, and "something for dinner" was all that was written on the actual list. Entering the store, I grabbed one of the handheld baskets. I went to get a newspaper, but all they had was Wednesday’s paper. They even had a few issues from Tuesday, and some from Sunday. But no Thursday paper. I began to think that I was wrong and it was actually still Wednesday.

When I decided that I was not out of my mind, I proceeded to the task at hand. On the way to the coffee/tea aisle I ran across some things that were on sale that would be handy for dinners. In a few minutes time I had filled the basket to capacity and still had other things on my growing mental list. I decided I needed a larger basket. Although I’ve been known to risk dropping a few things to prove that I do not need to get a larger basket.

After the basket switch, I headed for the items I had thought of while they were still fresh on my mind. Things to go with what I had found on sale. Of course there were other things I thought of along the way. As well as other items that were on sale, making it a good time to stock up. At a certain point I called it quits and headed for the checkout counters. I was running out of steam. Dinner still needed to be fixed when I got home.

I had just over fifteen items but the express lane cashier was standing and staring off into space. I asked if he minded checking me out. He said "sure," he needed the practice anyway. As I headed to the car the rain that had begun when I arrived had ceased. I transferred the groceries from the basket to the car, put the basket away in its parking lot pen, and sat down in the driver’s seat to start the car. That’s when I remembered the foil. The only other thing written on the list other than coffee.

I thought for a moment about putting it off and buying foil another time. But I needed foil to cook what I had picked out for dinner. So I made the trek back across the parking lot and into the store. A few minutes later, after going through the whole process again - except going through self-checkout this time - I was headed to the car for the second time.

As I was driving home, it occurred to me that too often many of us find ourselves with armfuls of stuff while not getting what we came for or need. That also applies to other areas of our lives. We are paying so much attention to what is being called to our attention that we do not keep our minds on track. The old story about going downstairs to get the mail and doing a myriad of other things while still not getting the mail that referred to getting older no longer applies to age. Our sons cannot keep a thought from one room to the other.

Getting extra is not necessarily a bad thing, but we need to stick with the list. If we stick with the list, often everything else will follow. Be the list the commandments, moral laws, to do lists, or grocery lists. If we follow the commandments, the moral laws will follow naturally, being part and parcel of each other. Sticking to those lists will make it easier to focus on goals which will aid in the making of to do lists. Taking care of ourselves - the bodies God gave us - is guided by the previous lists and permeates the planning of grocery lists. Stick to the list.

Peace be with you.

Being "Between Holes"

During all the activities of the past few weeks - Holy Week the same week as spring break, three teenagers and all related activities, work and other duties - I began to notice that I keep adjusting my belt. It is not due to a major shift in my weight. I weigh about five pounds less than I weighed in high school (which drives Cyndy nuts). And I am way past high school. It is due to, as the Monty Python crew would say, something completely different.

When I buy a belt, it fits snugly. Maybe right after my jeans have been washed, the belt might feel a little loose, but when my jeans work back out, it fits fine again. Inevitably, at some point in time, I begin to notice that I need to tighten up the belt a little. But sure enough, when I try to tighten it, I find that I cannot. I find I am once again in my personal twilight zone of being "between holes."

When I bought the belt I had a two hole leeway. Both worked okay, but one a little better. Where did that leeway go? Okay, the belt is leather and leather will flex a bit after time - I get that. And jeans tighten and loosen - I get that, too. But the holes are the same distance apart they always were - within a fraction of an inch. And although I am at the age that my body is beginning to shift, it has not as yet affected my waist.

It is not a recent occurrence. The situation is the same with our son’s belts - when they wear them. Many times I have taken out my pocket knife and fashioned a new hole in a belt. But that is only a temporary solution and does not work for any thing close to a formal event. And, unlike the original holes, it tends to grow, sometimes splitting the belt in the middle to the next original hole or simply splitting it in half.

Unfortunately, it is not a problem for which I think there will be a solution. But it did - as everything does - get me to thinking. About the times in our lives when we find ourselves between holes. We receive life with all the right holes - with a two hole leeway. We keep going back and forth between one hole and another. Because we do not keep on a steady path, the leather stretches, the jeans flex, and we find we need another hole. Which we try to make ourselves. But the holes we make are inferior to the original holes and do not stand up to use and wear.

The between hole theory can apply to our bodies, the planet, and our faith. We take what we are given, as perfect as it can be, and flex it, stretch it, use it, and abuse it until we suddenly find ourselves between holes. Then we think we can solve it on our own. We make another hole. But our solutions are only temporary and usually to not stand the test of time.

We need to work within the boundaries of what we were originally given. Stay within limits and follow the path as we know we ought to. Listen to the Lord when he speaks to us, and have "a pure heart, a good conscience, and sincere faith."

Peace be with you.

A Random Event?

I stopped by a convenience store on the way home this evening. As the cashier was running my debit card, a woman walked in the door. She walked unsteadily - yet not exactly staggering - toward the counter. I moved my purchases to the side of the counter, to allow her room. She looked at the attendant and mumbled something about Irving.

The cashier asked her if she was trying to get to Irving. On the verge of crying, she said "yes." He called his co-worker who was headed to the rear of the store. The directions of the co-worker would have taken her farther away from Irving than she already was, not to mention confusing her.

"Hold it!" I found myself saying. I was about to tell her to take the street she was on to the highway that would get her to Irving. But just after my exclamation her cell phone rang.

As she turned away talking on the phone, I continued my explanation to the co-worker. I said that she could just take this street about the same time as the cashier. Exactly what his co-worker said is still a mystery to me. Neither of the two store attendants spoke very good English. But what I got out of his reply was that "she was drunk" (I think) and the waving of his hands while he finished.

The woman was facing a display in the middle of the floor and talking on her phone. I waved at the attendants and left the store. As I was leaving, I could hear her side of the conversation.

"No!" she was saying, "I’m turned around and I’m trying to find my way back to Irving."

Which was the last thing I heard her say. I am not entirely confident that I heard what she said correctly. I did not have a chance to write it down until I returned home myself. It was obvious, however, that she had gone past her tolerance level as far as drinking alcohol was concerned.

As I returned to my car, started it, and headed home, I thought about what I might have done. I hoped that whoever she was talking to on the phone helped her get home and that she got home safely. If she had depended on the store attendants I am afraid she might never have found her apartment or home (although apartment seemed more likely). More importantly, to me, did my actions - or lack of - have a detrimental effect on her efforts?

If I had given her directions would she have been able to follow them? Would I see in the news the next day that she had died in a wreck? And wonder if my directions had been responsible in some way? Was that any better than wondering now if she got into serious trouble or an accident as a result of my lack of direction?

I would like to think that my thoughts of and prayers for her helped her to get home safely. Despite the attitude of the store attendants. With the help of the "friend" on the phone. But I will never know for sure. Do I want to know? Well, maybe. Should I know, would I find that I did not do what I could? I have to leave that up to the Lord. And pray that I did the right thing.

A New Child in the Family

I think I have mentioned before that I am going to be a grandfather. The doctor is going to induce labor on the 14^th of this month. My wife, Cyndy, has been trying to find her place in the baby’s life. The hardest part for me will be dealing with Cyndy and Jennifer’s mother at the same time. It cannot go well. If Cyndy and I had stayed together when we dated out of high school, Jennifer would be hers. But we had different paths to travel before we finally came back together for the rest of our lives.

So I have not been able to fully enjoy the fact that I am becoming a grandfather. Nor have I been able to think about how I feel exactly and what I will do to be a special grandfather. I do not want to turn around when she is five years old or older and regret not doing what I wish I had done. I already regret enough about raising my four children thus far.

I used to say I did not have to worry about Jennifer any more except when she needs help or money. That was wrong of course. I never stop worrying about my family. But now my little girl is having a little girl. I will not only be worrying about Jennifer, but my granddaughter as well. Making sure that Jennifer and her husband have what they need to take care of their daughter.

But what am I going to do as a special grandfather? Something that will form a special bond between Kelley Elizabeth and her grandfather. Something that only her grandfather did for her. Something only he could do. I am the only writer in the family (my father has written books about our ancestors, but he is not a writer beyond that) since I can barely get my children to read, much less write. Sad though it may be. So I’m thinking that writing would be the most personal thing I could do.

But letters, poems, or what? Or both? I guess I’ll begin to channel the inspiration I am starting to feel in relation to my coming granddaughter. I will see where that inspiration leads me. But I do know this. The focus of my gift will be on the religious traditions that were passed down to me as they have been for centuries. A focus on the gift the Lord gave us when he sacrificed his son. A tradition of faith in God. With a foundation in faith, she will have a good life. It has worked for her family so far.

Peace be with you.

Choices about Serving

Joshua 24:15 (NRSV) “Now if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served in the region beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua was addressing the Israelites at Shechem before he established a covenant with them. The Israelites did not seem to be catching on to the fact that following the Torah and obeying God was the way to go. They can be cut some slack for the golden calf - they did not have the tablets yet. However, they were only cut some slack because Moses persuaded God not to destroy them. But they had to understand that they could not worship other gods.

Despite Joshua’s warning they continued to give into the temptations that were all around them. They continued to stray after periods of righteous living, when the judge - and later a king - died. Because of the continual recurrence of periods of disobedience, they were stuck with having to get along with other people in the land that they were to be given but had not yet conquered. Due of course to their lack of adherence to the Torah. They paid too much attention the other gods and distractions. Not just other gods, as such, but other things that the Lord had warned them against worshiping or coveting.

Which I think we still do today. Even after centuries, we are still straying from our faith. Even if there are more temptations in the form of the internet, ipods, email, and video games, just to name a few. Cell phones readily come to mind. We did not need to talk as much before cell phones. But now we feel the need to constantly stay in touch.

I have no reliable source for my supposition, but I think that there are relationships that have been destroyed as a result of cell phones. There seems to be this expectation of instant contact. People need their time alone. If not alone, away from the family or significant other. Cell phones takes that time away. As well as email. As a writer, I get distracted when I see “I have mail.” I have to check my email to see if it is important. Usually, it is not.

People let distractions rule their lives. Our distractions become excuses for not doing what we really should be doing. Listening to the Lord is one of those things. If we were confronted, we would say something like “I had other things on my mind,” or “I’ve had to many other things to do.” As if those are legitimate excuses.

Does it ever occur to us that if we took time to pray and listen, our lives might be different than just bouncing from distraction to distraction. At the very least we would have a quiet moment at intervals. Quiet moments are rare these days. Life might also calm down. Not literally, but through having a more positive outlook.

You would think with all the examples in the Bible of the Israelites going astray, being saved by God, and then going astray again, we would have figured it out by the year 2007. But we simply keep on inventing and buying into more distractions. Will you be one of the masses and shrug it off with excuses, or will you be one of the steadfast believers who grabs quiet moments with the Lord and lives each day with confidence? I’m working on the latter. The Lord never said it would be easy.

Peace be with you.

The Ancestral Cave (or Tomb)

In either of my Bible studies, we split up into small groups and discuss different parts of scripture from the previous week’s readings. In my Tuesday night group this week, my group’s particular passage was the fiftieth chapter of Genesis. In that study, the leader sends out the agenda for class on the previous Friday. I spent part of Tuesday afternoon looking back over the chapter and answering the questions.

As it happened, the material was divided among the group in pairs – in some cases, a group of three. My partner arrived as I was finishing my thoughts on the passage. Which was a good thing for two reasons. For one, Becky did not have to snap into action before getting her materials and Bible out and ready. And the second reason was that it forced me to talk my way through a thought process in a group despite my stuttering. To my surprise I did quite well.

I began by summarizing Jacob’s dying, Joseph and his brothers taking him to Canaan after he had been embalmed in Egypt. They took Jacob to where they were to bury him in the cave with his ancestors. It was the cave that Abraham had bought when Sarah died. Sarah, Abraham, Isaac, Rebekah, and Leah were already buried there.

In my summary of the chapter for the class, when I got to the part about going to Canaan to bury Jacob/Israel with his ancestors, a thought occurred to me. As I was telling the class that Joseph went to bury Jacob with his ancestors, I let my mouth voice my thought.

"They buried Jacob with Abraham, et al. And Joseph was buried in Egypt. I’m thinking that the cave was getting kind of full."

Either the cave was getting full or Joseph’s descendants did not feel like dragging his body back to Canaan. The Israelites were living comfortably in Egypt in the land of Goshen. They probably saw no reason to leave. And the twelve tribes of Israel were already in motion. The ancestors with whom God had made covenants were buried in the cave.

Were the tradition to be carried forward, where would they stop? The Lord also made a covenant with Israel, the people. Even if the tradition stopped with Jacob’s sons and their primary wives, there would certainly not have been room in the cave for the additional occupants. Let us also not forget that the Lord only planned for the Israelites to leave Egypt once more. And then to never return again.

Something to think about.

Peace be with you.

Rare Time Alone

It is nice to be posting again. It has been a hectic time. First there were articles to be written for the church online newsletter and the print edition. Then came our church’s Jubilee (50^th) celebration last Sunday. I’ve been working this week on the church history I am writing and looking for pictures of the Jubilee celebration by other members for an article for the Dallas Morning News NeighborsGo section. On top of household duties, running teenagers around, and simply doing research.

Well, I finished the article by the deadline today. After picking everyone up, coming home, and delivering them to other places, Cyndy, with two of our boys, went to a Mystery Night with the church middle school group. Conner stayed with me, but he had baseball practice from 6 to 8 p.m. So I was able to go by Luby’s and pick up a liver and onions meal. It has been a while since I have had liver and onions. It is also relatively inexpensive.

I had some time by myself while eating dinner and for a while afterwards. Conner got a ride home so I did not have to leave to pick him up. He attacked the refrigerator and watched TV while he ate. Then he went upstairs (naturally not putting things up – leaving the plate with what he could not eat with the ketchup on the counter while the meatloaf sat in the dish on the stove). He spent the next hour and twenty minutes on the phone, but he was quiet and did not bother me.

So I had an evening of peace. A chance to unwind a bit. Then start thinking about what I need to write next. Think about the history of the church – what I know and what I need to find out. As a parent, I just have to find the moments alone when I can. Appreciate those moments and make them last until the next time. It may be a while.

Peace be with you.

Writing amidst Distractions

It has been a productive day on most counts. That does not mean I finished all that I wanted to however. House-wise, maybe. Writing-wise, not even close. But there are those kind of days when you are a writer and your office is at home. But they are not distractions, not really. At least that is what I tell myself.

I finished an article this morning and posted it on the web at neighborsgo.com. After the adrenaline rush of a deadline, it was over as quick as it began. I still have other articles and pieces that I need to work on, but I did not want the feeling of exhilaration and satisfaction to end. Starting another blank page would end that feeling immediately.

I started by folding the clothes piled on the sofa and love seat of Cyndy’s and my living room. The boys have their own den, but they refuse to keep it straight so what is the point of putting it their den in piles? Actually, we tried that. Two days later we could not tell clean from dirty. But, as an alternative to having to sniff them, we washed some clothes again that were already clean. So now they pile up in our living room until we fold them - or guilt or cajole them into helping - into neat piles. Then the struggle to get them to take them to their rooms and put them in their drawers.

When the clothes were folded, I still felt restless. I still did not feel like focusing my attention on another piece of writing. Which was a perfect time to re-file some things. Straighten and clean my desk, then Cyndy’s. After all why straighten one without the other? Including moving things, filing things, and dusting. I had made some piles of papers when I cleaned a file that I would file in their new home at some point. Now continued to be as good a time as any.

Both desks were dusted, cleaned, and straightened. Clothes were folded. It was about time to force myself to get to the writing duties. Then Cyndy and J.D. came home. Running errands and picking up teenagers came next. Then there was the matter of what to have for dinner. But with dinner eaten and everyone in bed but me, it is time to get to writing.

That, my friends, is pretty much the life of a writer. Everything that needs to be done does not get done consistently. Life these days does not allow that. Immersing myself in my writing assures that I will be lax in household duties. Thinking about it is complete and it is time to write. So at the first sign of writer’s block, I find time to catch up on household duties. And think at the same time about writing assignments.

At some point, maybe hours, maybe days - hopefully hours - the cycle will repeat itself and I will be writing full tilt. The work I do during the day is all the more important because chances are I will not be able to do much work when everyone starts arriving home. Sometimes I can keep working, sometimes I cannot. If I do keep working there is a guilt because I am not doing something around the house. Even though my writing is more important in most instances.

I still manage to do my share around the house. Certainly tremendously more than our sons do. And that is the life of a writer with a family who works at home. I am just thankful that the Lord is watching over me. My faith keeps me going throughout the cycle of responsibilities.

Peace be with you.

Deadlines and Demands

Well, the deadlines are passed for the inner-church media, so I can relax for about five seconds. Then I can get back to work on the history of the church. After I finish an article for local media. I also need to prepare for setting up a booth for this weekend to take information, pictures, talk to members, and take pre-orders for the church history - to be published the first of next year.

That’s not to mention blog posts and other writing I need to get done. Okay, so I may have mentioned it before, but the deadlines continually make it hard to find time to post. When I do get time to post, there is not much I am thinking about other than deadlines I need to meet and deadlines I am already planning to set before the previous ones are completed. Which would seem to make it obvious that I work best when I have a variety of goals to reach. Then I create other goals to take their place when they are nearing completion.

All would go smoothly except that I have a daughter who is twenty-six, married, and expecting our first grandchild in November, two teenage boys, and one who is knocking on the door of his teenage years. That is where the whole plan goes awry. Between football and baseball games, practices, and running numerous errands under the guise of "for school," the deadlines build up with continually frequency.

But I am working on it. Jennifer, the twenty-six year old, has it figured out by now. The boys seem to be making progress. But until it all falls into place, I will continue to have constant interruptions that keep me from my goals. That does not mean that when "it all falls into place" I will not have more to work on. I will still have more deadlines and goals than life will let me accomplish.

However, with the Lord’s help, through prayer, I will be able to meet my deadlines on a timely basis as the boys grow older. At the very least, I have something to look forward to, which hopefully will happen.

Peace be with you.

Apologies for the Delay in Posting

My apologies for the delay in posting. After a weekend of the absolute "drearies" and a humidity fighting day at the State Fair yesterday, I am beginning to feel better. I am ready to get the new week started and the postings back to regularity. However, after the long weekend of relative non-work activity, I am now behind.

The deadline for articles is upon me for the church-wide media and the NeighborsGo website. So I am franticly posting and writing articles at the same time. Unfortunately, that is not all I need to get done. But I must begin with that to get them behind me before moving on. Here is where some would say the oft-heard phrase, "No rest for the weary." I would say that rest, if it is successful, merely prepares one for the weariness to come when it becomes obvious that the rest caused a backup of work to be done. This past weekend was not quite that restful.

But I keep striking away at the keyboard and trying to get ahead. And a little prayer always helps. Now on to the next deadline. See you next time.

Peace be with you.