Think On These Things

A Random Event?

I stopped by a convenience store on the way home this evening. As the cashier was running my debit card, a woman walked in the door. She walked unsteadily - yet not exactly staggering - toward the counter. I moved my purchases to the side of the counter, to allow her room. She looked at the attendant and mumbled something about Irving.

The cashier asked her if she was trying to get to Irving. On the verge of crying, she said "yes." He called his co-worker who was headed to the rear of the store. The directions of the co-worker would have taken her farther away from Irving than she already was, not to mention confusing her.

"Hold it!" I found myself saying. I was about to tell her to take the street she was on to the highway that would get her to Irving. But just after my exclamation her cell phone rang.

As she turned away talking on the phone, I continued my explanation to the co-worker. I said that she could just take this street about the same time as the cashier. Exactly what his co-worker said is still a mystery to me. Neither of the two store attendants spoke very good English. But what I got out of his reply was that "she was drunk" (I think) and the waving of his hands while he finished.

The woman was facing a display in the middle of the floor and talking on her phone. I waved at the attendants and left the store. As I was leaving, I could hear her side of the conversation.

"No!" she was saying, "I’m turned around and I’m trying to find my way back to Irving."

Which was the last thing I heard her say. I am not entirely confident that I heard what she said correctly. I did not have a chance to write it down until I returned home myself. It was obvious, however, that she had gone past her tolerance level as far as drinking alcohol was concerned.

As I returned to my car, started it, and headed home, I thought about what I might have done. I hoped that whoever she was talking to on the phone helped her get home and that she got home safely. If she had depended on the store attendants I am afraid she might never have found her apartment or home (although apartment seemed more likely). More importantly, to me, did my actions - or lack of - have a detrimental effect on her efforts?

If I had given her directions would she have been able to follow them? Would I see in the news the next day that she had died in a wreck? And wonder if my directions had been responsible in some way? Was that any better than wondering now if she got into serious trouble or an accident as a result of my lack of direction?

I would like to think that my thoughts of and prayers for her helped her to get home safely. Despite the attitude of the store attendants. With the help of the "friend" on the phone. But I will never know for sure. Do I want to know? Well, maybe. Should I know, would I find that I did not do what I could? I have to leave that up to the Lord. And pray that I did the right thing.

A New Child in the Family

I think I have mentioned before that I am going to be a grandfather. The doctor is going to induce labor on the 14^th of this month. My wife, Cyndy, has been trying to find her place in the baby’s life. The hardest part for me will be dealing with Cyndy and Jennifer’s mother at the same time. It cannot go well. If Cyndy and I had stayed together when we dated out of high school, Jennifer would be hers. But we had different paths to travel before we finally came back together for the rest of our lives.

So I have not been able to fully enjoy the fact that I am becoming a grandfather. Nor have I been able to think about how I feel exactly and what I will do to be a special grandfather. I do not want to turn around when she is five years old or older and regret not doing what I wish I had done. I already regret enough about raising my four children thus far.

I used to say I did not have to worry about Jennifer any more except when she needs help or money. That was wrong of course. I never stop worrying about my family. But now my little girl is having a little girl. I will not only be worrying about Jennifer, but my granddaughter as well. Making sure that Jennifer and her husband have what they need to take care of their daughter.

But what am I going to do as a special grandfather? Something that will form a special bond between Kelley Elizabeth and her grandfather. Something that only her grandfather did for her. Something only he could do. I am the only writer in the family (my father has written books about our ancestors, but he is not a writer beyond that) since I can barely get my children to read, much less write. Sad though it may be. So I’m thinking that writing would be the most personal thing I could do.

But letters, poems, or what? Or both? I guess I’ll begin to channel the inspiration I am starting to feel in relation to my coming granddaughter. I will see where that inspiration leads me. But I do know this. The focus of my gift will be on the religious traditions that were passed down to me as they have been for centuries. A focus on the gift the Lord gave us when he sacrificed his son. A tradition of faith in God. With a foundation in faith, she will have a good life. It has worked for her family so far.

Peace be with you.

Choices about Serving

Joshua 24:15 (NRSV) “Now if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served in the region beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua was addressing the Israelites at Shechem before he established a covenant with them. The Israelites did not seem to be catching on to the fact that following the Torah and obeying God was the way to go. They can be cut some slack for the golden calf - they did not have the tablets yet. However, they were only cut some slack because Moses persuaded God not to destroy them. But they had to understand that they could not worship other gods.

Despite Joshua’s warning they continued to give into the temptations that were all around them. They continued to stray after periods of righteous living, when the judge - and later a king - died. Because of the continual recurrence of periods of disobedience, they were stuck with having to get along with other people in the land that they were to be given but had not yet conquered. Due of course to their lack of adherence to the Torah. They paid too much attention the other gods and distractions. Not just other gods, as such, but other things that the Lord had warned them against worshiping or coveting.

Which I think we still do today. Even after centuries, we are still straying from our faith. Even if there are more temptations in the form of the internet, ipods, email, and video games, just to name a few. Cell phones readily come to mind. We did not need to talk as much before cell phones. But now we feel the need to constantly stay in touch.

I have no reliable source for my supposition, but I think that there are relationships that have been destroyed as a result of cell phones. There seems to be this expectation of instant contact. People need their time alone. If not alone, away from the family or significant other. Cell phones takes that time away. As well as email. As a writer, I get distracted when I see “I have mail.” I have to check my email to see if it is important. Usually, it is not.

People let distractions rule their lives. Our distractions become excuses for not doing what we really should be doing. Listening to the Lord is one of those things. If we were confronted, we would say something like “I had other things on my mind,” or “I’ve had to many other things to do.” As if those are legitimate excuses.

Does it ever occur to us that if we took time to pray and listen, our lives might be different than just bouncing from distraction to distraction. At the very least we would have a quiet moment at intervals. Quiet moments are rare these days. Life might also calm down. Not literally, but through having a more positive outlook.

You would think with all the examples in the Bible of the Israelites going astray, being saved by God, and then going astray again, we would have figured it out by the year 2007. But we simply keep on inventing and buying into more distractions. Will you be one of the masses and shrug it off with excuses, or will you be one of the steadfast believers who grabs quiet moments with the Lord and lives each day with confidence? I’m working on the latter. The Lord never said it would be easy.

Peace be with you.