Think On These Things

An Eventful Sunday

Our church had the yearly all church picnic tonight at the local park. The church provided the fried chicken, lemonade, and tea. The families brought the side dishes. After eating quickly, I was busy checking facts and taking pictures for an article, and discussing future projects. The day began with the church service and Sunday school. Which was followed by J.D. having chimes practices. Which was followed by Conner and Cameron returning from an overnight DeMolay project. I picked them up just in time for Cameron to get to bells practice and me to get to Bible study. The church picnic started just as Bible study ended. Leaving little time during the day to write a post.

Everyone else in the family is asleep and I am heading in that direction. This next week will be a busy one. But I would like to leave you with a brief story from the evening’s events.

When J.D. was going to bed and had turned the tv and light off, I looked in and Cameron, who had fallen a sleep on a part of the sectional sofa, was moving. But the time I got around the couch, he was patting the cushion on the floor. I asked him what he was looking for. He said, "asdf9oasdfsf." I asked what again. He said "looking for the case." I said "the case for what?" He pointed with his hand and said "for that." He was pointing to the curvy part of the couch and there was nothing on it but Conner’s clothes from Friday night. I said I was trying to help but I didn’t know what he wanted. Again he said, "looking for the case." Again I said "for what." "The toothpick." "What?" "Toothpick." And he went back to sleep!

Peace be with you.

Homecoming Dance

Our oldest son - who is fourteen and in his first year of high school - went to his first formal homecoming dance tonight. And he sort of had a date. He has been talking regularly on the phone with one of the cheerleaders on the freshman squad. She ended up with an extra ticket because her sister was not going and she offered it to Conner. True, he has to pay her back for the ticket, but the fact that she offered it to him was an indication that she wanted him to go. He was suddenly excited about going.

But you would not have been able to tell that he was excited when he left tonight. We wanted to take his picture before he left. He seemed bored by the whole thing, but it was obvious he was hiding his excitement. We had to goad him into smiling, but he finally did. He looks handsome in the picture.

I do not know how he will act after he returns. He has an all night community project with his DeMolay chapter after the dance so I will not know how the dance went until after he returns tomorrow. Even then he might not tell me. I doubt that he feels secure enough that he could tell his father how he feels about a girl. I make it a point to publicly recognize when he does the right thing. In contrast to the many more times that I correct him for his wrongdoings. He has not, however, equated the two, realizing that he would get more pats on the back if he acted like he should instead of how he wanted to.

Actually, the situation is about the same with all three boys. It is one of those parenting dilemmas that will last throughout time. "Boys will be boys" is an old statement, but it is nonetheless true. They are going to go through a period of rebellion. If we are lucky, each of them will only go through one period of rebellion. It is a good thought anyway.

In the meantime, Cyndy and I will do as parents have through the ages. We will forgive our children when they act as they shouldn’t, sometimes chastising us in the bargain. We will do our best to teach them what is right. And we will pray that we have the strength to pull that off.

Peace be with you.

Fall Events, Activities, and Holidays

As I was growing up, summer vacation always seemed just a little too long. But we ended the school year in May and did not start back again until after Labor Day. The summer break was longer than it is today. I had my notebook and supplies ready two weeks before the school year started. By that time of the summer, my friends and I were usually only hanging out, watching TV or whatnot. We had done everything we wanted to do during the summer. The summer had lost its glory. Being able to do basically what we wanted to had gotten old.

We were ready to get back to relationships that we cherished, but were only active during the school year. Those with whom we did not regularly interact during the summer, but were close friends with at school. And of course we would be able to interact with members of the opposite sex that we rarely came in contact with at all. Which was part of the urgency in wanting to go back to school.

Be that as it may, I was ready to go back to school long before the summer ended. The fall was full of activities (as well as cooler weather) and led up to Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Church activities started back up as well. Fall was full of stuff to look forward to doing.

But now I am a parent. As happy as I am for the boys to go back to school and have something to do during the day, I dread the coming of schedule conflicts and checks I have to write. Fall is now a time of having to plan ahead for events and adjust the budget for sports and activities. When every utterance of "hey Dad" ends with something they need money for or a ride to or from an event we had not heard about.

The hope is that Cyndy and I will get a chance to enjoy the events and holidays before they rush by. Have a chance to share with our family the moments they will eventually be glad that they experienced and remember. But they will not appreciate the moments at the time. Because it is all about them.

As it has been for generations, with the advancement of knowledge and technology each generation has more to tend with than the previous one. With the exception of times of war. As a boy I had AM radio until we bought a TV. Which was black and white. Now our boys each have their own computer and TV.

I hope that my children will remember the things we did for them with fondness. The way I remember the things my parents did for my brother and myself. But the speed with which events occur and life goes by it makes it appear unlikely. We can only pray and hope. As our parents prayed and hoped that we would remember and appreciate them. Which we do. We just worry about doing as good a job as our parents in more difficult circustances.

In my Bible studies we have been reading in Genesis about Abraham and his descendants. They were thinking the same things we as parents think today. As much as we would like to ignore the fact, we are not unique in going through parental strife. These problems have been around since before Abraham actually. Yet continually throughout history, each generation has increased in its temptations, social events, and technological advancements. Which changes the dynamic of family life.

Our family will make it through as the generations before us. My children will remember and appreciate more than I thought they would. I believe that they will make me proud of them and them of themselves. I will be pleasantly surprised, but it will be when I least expect it. Yet there is one thing that will not change and has not changed throughout the ages. It will not be easy. It has not been easy since Adam and Eve and it will not change with me.

Like everyone since Adam and Eve I will trust in the Lord. And like my biblical ancestors, my family will be blessed.

Peace be with you.

The Elusive Post

I have been mulling over an idea for a post all day. But in between calls from the school which necessitated emails back and forth from Cyndy and picking up Jennifer to take her on an errand she needed to run, we were busy with the three boys. I took Jennifer to her appointment and then came back to the house. Cyndy picked J.D. up on her way home from work, arriving a few minutes after Jennifer and I did.

Then the school nurse called and Cameron had been hurt at football practice. His left thumb is sore and tender. We will wait to see if it is fractured. When Cameron, Cyndy, and Jennifer returned from school, it was time to go back to the school. Conner’s high school game was at Cameron’s Middle School. J.D.’s baseball practice was at the baseball fields in the block next to the school.

There is no need to go on, you get the picture. The rest of the day was spent running back and forth from one place to another. So my idea for the post never germinated. But I have thought about it when I had a chance. Hopefully you will read the "as yet to come" post tomorrow. At least I am planning on it.

Peace be with you.

To Do Lists and Distractions

I hope today started out as smoothly for you as it did for me. A day starting smoothly is a rarity around our house. I was trying to wipe the sleep out of my eyes, but I think Conner may have made Cyndy late to work. However, from the tone of her emails to me, it was not very serious.

Yet it does not matter how smoothly the morning goes, I never seem to be able to get all that I want to accomplish done. Then there is the list of things I plan to do when I get this first list completed. Items are not exactly flying off the list. There is somewhere to go, something to do, or someone one to pick up or take someplace.

Distractions used to be simply annoying. Today they are constant, endless, and unavoidable. When you go to check your email it is possible to get so far off your train of thought you forget to actually check your email. Even with wifi I do not stay online all the time. If I did I would be tempted to check my email every time the computer told me I had mail.

I am on two church committees. I am active in other church activities including writing the church history and articles for local newspapers. I write two blogs and update my website. So being on the computer a lot is a necessity.

Consequently, I am bombarded by temptations designed as purposeful distractions. The silly headline that leads to a ridiculous story, followed by comments from people who have nothing better to do than let these distractions rule their lives. It is not enough that they spend time reading inane articles, but they find the need to comment on the articles - as if they actually had a unique opinion.

The problem for me is that I am able to talk about them because I have been guilty of reading their insensitive, groundless comments. Then I feel bad because I wasted time on inconsequential nonsense. When I could have been accomplishing another task on my list. Fortunately it does not consume enough of my time to cause serious guilt. Little time passes before I realize that I am off track. I feel sorry for those without self-control sitting in front of a computer drinking Red Bulls and typing spastically without any regard for spelling.

The possibility of ignoring all the distractions is nill. Few people can concentrate hard enough continuously to avoid all visual and audio distractions. But we do the best we can. With faith in the Lord we can depend on a strong conscience to at least cut ourselves off before we have indulged ourselves in distractions beyond the point of returning to task. Distractions have existed since Adam and Eve when they let the distraction get the best of them. Yet that does not mean we cannot resist them. There has been resistance to distractions since Adam and Eve as well. As it has throughout the centuries, our faith will guide us.

Peace be with you.

Another Long Day

I apologize for not posting earlier. It has been a really long day. On top of all the things I did during the day, Cameron had a football game that turned out to be in Irving, twenty minutes away. J.D. had a Little League game in the Colony - about the same distance in almost the opposite direction. I also had my Old Testament Bible Study class at church - within easy walking distance.

Fortunately, Cameron rode with the team in the bus and returned to the school in the bus. So I could pick him up just after my Bible study. Against our wishes, Conner stayed home by himself. I have yet to discover what all he was in to. Cyndy went with J.D. to his baseball game in the Colony. An old friend of ours lives in the Colony. Cyndy and Sally got to visit during the game.

When I picked up Cameron at school and returned home, Conner was on the phone - which he had probably been for the last hour and a half, only stopping to eat something. I had to keep at him to get him off the phone. Cameron ate dinner and went to bed. Cameron did not play because he did not do his homework one day last week. Yet he was tired from having to stand on the sidelines in a black jersey - signifying a benched player because of school work - the whole time.

Cyndy and J.D. arrived home around ten. His team won, 12 to 7. J.D. had homework he had not finished. Forty-five minutes later, the two of them went upstairs to head for bed. Conner came down to ask me if he could watch a DVD while he polished his shoes for ROTC. Keep in mind that it is about eleven o’clock at this point and bedtime is at ten.

I still had work to do. You are witnesses because this is part of it. Conner is still up watching the video and I am getting tired. Maybe tomorrow will be different. I always hope that it will be, but I do not really expect it. But I hope, and I pray, and things always seem to work out. Not the way we want it to, but a way we can live with.

Peace be with you.

Monday, Memory, and Faith

Monday is as Monday does. Okay, so it does not make that much sense to me either, but it sounded good. Monday’s must start slow. It is a requirement. It is what makes Monday unique.

Needless to say, today was no different. Being the waking moment separating the weekend from the coming week, mental adjustment is necessary. For me, working at home, the tendency to begin slowly is stronger. I often wish that I had an office to go to just so I would not be at the house so much. I love our house and home, but there are times when you need to get away. Preferably on a regular basis.

I began the day, after waking up with plenty of coffee, by doing my reading for my Bible Studies. I am presently working with two different groups and studies. One is a study of the entire Bible and the other is a deeper look at the Old Testament. So I started the day contemplating the two creation stories, the Fall, and Cain and Abel. Not exactly the reading that will kickstart a week into fast action.

The creation stories are wonderful stories and I enjoy reading them. There are always things I have not noticed or thought about before. Which is amazing considering how many times I have read them over the years. It is when it gets to Cain and Abel that it got sticky for me this morning. Brothers at odds with each other is a recurring theme in the Old Testament.

But this morning the story of the two brothers succeeding in reminding me of my younger brother who was killed twenty years ago. Dennis never saw the age of thirty. While it is true that I did not have anything to do with his death, he is sorely missed by my parents and myself. We are not the only ones who miss him, but I think we probably remember Dennis most often.

Like Abel, we know how Dennis was killed. We even know why. Not that it makes any more sense because of that knowledge, but we possess it. My sorrow has grown into a kind of numbness. Each day the pain of the memory recedes a bit more. I have not received any answers as to the ultimate why, but I realize that I will not. Not in this lifetime anyway.

Which is what makes Bible study more important. The study of the Scriptures is what helped form the numbness against the horror of Dennis’ violent death. As I read about Cain and Abel, I think about him. But at the same time I realize the power of God’s majesty. He has taken care of the world thus far, he took care of my brother, and he will take care of me. It is not for me to have all the answers. It is up to me to remember, to believe, and to have faith.

Peace be with you.

Patience and Sundays

Marriage and parenthood require patience. I know that is nothing new, but I keep repeating it to my self. Maybe someday the patience that I had before we had three boys will return. But I’m not counting on it. Though I fondly remember days when I simply went hours without worrying about anything. But, alas, it is a distant memory.

The plan is to get up and go to church at nine as a family. Cyndy and I would go to the 9 o’clock service while the boys go to the Son Rise Café - a "coffee house" for the youth with breakfast, juice, and so on. Then we would all go to our different Sunday schools at ten. But since they can show up at the Son Rise Café any time during the hour, the boys are in no hurry to get to church at nine. Cyndy is going through Confirmation with J.D., the youngest boy. As a result, if she misses the 9 o’clock service, she does not attend a service. I have the option of attending the 10:15 service, but I miss my Sunday school class.

Yet none of that matters to the boys. We get lucky on those rare occasions when they want to get to the Son Rise Café early. Then we get to church on time (as far as Cyndy and I are concerned) and the day is rather pleasant. All three have chimes or bells, choir, and youth (the two oldest) so they are at church most of the afternoon. Which gives Cyndy and I a chance to spend Sunday afternoon peacefully, with a chance to talk to one another and spend time in personal meditation.

Today was not one of those Sundays when they want to get there early. Which we could deal with. But that was not all. It got so ridiculous that I gave Conner and J.D. a ride to church, passing Cyndy and Cameron who were walking and refused a ride. I did not feel all that swell when I woke up. After all of the vocal intensity and public display, I could have gone to church, but the spirit would not have been within me. Going to church as a family while being at odds with one another is not the spirit in which I want to attend a service.

A worship service is a time to commune with the members of the church present and the Lord. Not surprisingly, a time of worship. Quite obvious to us, but our boys do not understand. Were it not for my Bible study in the evening I would have missed my Sunday fellowship all together. But it was still a long day.

Hopefully, Sundays will become days when the whole family looks forward to worship. It may take a while. But one can hope - as people have since the beginning of time.

Peace be with you.

Habits, Routines, and Thanks to God

Thank God tomorrow is Sunday. I could use some spiritual renewal. I also need to make it a point to make an appointment with the dentist. I have a strong feeling that the tooth I have that has been steadily decaying needs to be pulled. The headache this morning seemed to imply that I might have waited too long. But going to the dentist is not one of those tasks that I am eager to move to the head of my to do list.

I had few headaches before our boys became teenagers. Now I have headaches more often than I would like. None would be nice. But, to be honest, the boys are not the only reason for the headaches. The stress of running a household and daily habits that are hard to change might have a little to do with it. With all of the boys in school, after two years of homeschooling the youngest two, I have a chance to reexamine my daily routine and begin to make positive changes in habits as well as routine.

I was working on it this past week and was successful in starting on the path toward positive change. I began to walk daily. I forced myself to work on particular projects at particular times. I ignored the impulse to lay down and take a nap until I really deserved it. I was beginning to set up a system of improvement.

Monday I will be jumping into the new routine with both feet. I have deadlines coming up and I have no time left to organize my routine. I hope my preparation was enough. Not only do I have deadlines coming up, but I have to make up for two years of not having my own life. I think I am handling it all fairly well - as long as I forgive myself for shortcomings and move on.

May I face tomorrow with confidence, knowing that my faith shines through and the Lord is watching over my family.

Peace be with you.

A Rare Evening Alone

Our oldest two boys have a church youth camp out tonight and will not return until around dinner time tomorrow. When we knew the camp out was on the schedule, I snapped into parental action and called my parents to see if they would like to have J.D., the youngest of the three, over for the night. Being the loving mother and grandmother that she is, she readily agreed. And that was before she and my father knew they would be spending Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday at their grandson’s sports events.

Cameron had a football game on Tuesday, Conner had a football game on Wednesday, and Thursday J.D. had a baseball game. When I picked up Cyndy from work, we picked up J.D. from school, dropping him off at his grandparents’ house. Driving back to the same school, by way of the Sprout’s for fruits and vegetables, we picked Cameron up. We went home to put up the food. We thought Conner would call us when he was through with football practice.

I put the key in the lock to open the front door. I was alarmed when the key slid easily. Something it only does when it is unlocked. I am rather anal about making sure doors are locked - be it car, house, or whatever. I felt a sense of panic as I opened the door and looked toward my desk for my computer. Conner was sitting behind my desk, messing with my computer. His own stuff, to be sure, but on my computer - he has his own in his room.

Conner had taken the ladder from the shed and climbed up on the roof to come in Cameron’s unlocked window. I was not happy about it - especially considering he was on my computer - but he and Cameron had to get to church for the camp out so I had little time to go into it with him. Cyndy drove the two oldest boys to church. When she returned I picked up hamburgers and fries from our favorite hamburger restaurant.

The two of us spent a relaxing evening, watching a tape of the show we did not get to watch last night. We were able to snack on the fruit we bought without having children at our elbow wanting to know if they could have some. Cyndy and I were able to watch the show at our leisure with no interruptions. Relaxing evenings are few and far between for married couple with children.

It was a very nice, quiet, and relaxing evening. Who knows how long it will be before we have the opportunity for another one. But we will look forward to it. One of the things that keep us going in our constant struggle with our children is the time we will get to spend alone together.

Peace be with you.