Think On These Things

Recent Fund-Raising Flap, Elections, and Politicians

Everyone has heard by now of the people involved in the fund-raising "scandal" involving Hillary Clinton. She and the other senators who received tainted funds are doing the right thing in returning the money or giving it to charity. I am more concerned with how it is being covered in the media. Some of the conservative commentators commented that the fund-raising situation could hurt the Democrats on the campaign trail. As if it would help the Republicans.

I am neither democrat nor republican. I like the opportunity to vote, but I hate elections. Specifically the year before the actual election. A year and a half before the election - when the politicians announce that they are potential candidates - the discussion is about the issues. Not all the issues the voting public wants to hear about are discussed. But a few of the most important issues are debated.

During the first few months of flying around the country campaigning like crazy, the potential candidates begin to verbally spar in the media with one another. Democrats leaping on seeming "dirt" about the Republicans and being repaid in kind. With the media looking for dirt on either one. Then it degrades into a personal, and completely nasty, all out verbal brawl.

Along the way variations of the public’s opinion no longer enters into it. Our opinions carry less and less weight. Everyone is cast into one of two molds - surprise, surprise - Democrat or Republican (and the extremes of both at that). No middle ground is considered. Democrats are still described as hippies and Republicans as "establishment" stuffed shirts. Oh, please! Very nearly everyone in politics and the media skip completely over the majority of citizens resting on various levels firmly ensconced in what is called the middle of the road.

Which is when it would all become laughable if those middle ground citizens could honestly see the humor in the situation. But it is difficult when your opinions are not even considered and - in most cases - ignored. And that is my problem with the reporting of the story about the fund-raising snafu. If there is a question about fund-raising and the subjects are democrats, we - the general public - will not assume that republicans are faultless. Quite the contrary. We question the actions of all politicians. Just because we agree with a certain politician’s stance - as opposed to the other choices - it is not guaranteed that we trust them. We may not even agree with them whole-heartedly. We just think they are the "lesser of the evils."

Why can we not simply obey the second most important commandment, according to Jesus, and love our neighbors as we love ourselves?

Peace be with you.

Work-at-Home-?????

This is the third day of my newfound freedom to work during the day while the boys are in school. And work I did. But somehow I still failed to accomplish all that I had on my list. Part of the reason might be the hour I spent straightening the kitchen and washing the dishes. I did not finish that either, but I left some things on purpose. I thought I would once again try doing my part first with the intention of making the boys feel obligated and - in some strange teenage way - motivated to do their chores. It has seldom worked thus far, but I’m hoping one of these days it will start a trend.

As for working projects, I can say that when I started a project I finished it. But other projects that were not on my list were started and finished. Cleaning my desk, straightening the newspapers and magazines, and pausing to read an article or two. My only defense is that I kept busy and - ultimately - that is the important part. I did not waste the time. I accomplished something.

Nevertheless, even though the time was not wasted, the distracting jobs had nothing to do with the projects I needed to work on. Yet they had to be done because no one else, except Cyndy, will do it. It is not just stay-at-home or work-at-home moms anymore. I am not the only father that holds this position. I do not know why they do not have work-at-home-spouses blogs or forums. Just stay-at-home moms.

As far as the household, I think I do fairly well. The only "mom" stuff I do not do is actually be their mother. That is what Cyndy does - and fairly well I might add. She gave birth to them and that is not a bond I am privy to. Cyndy certainly does her share of work around the house. She is the love of my live and the mother of my children.

My beef is with society’s view that a work-at-home dad cannot fulfill the responsibilities of the stay-at-home mom. That is wrong. I have respect for stay-at-home moms. My mom held that title until we moved to Dallas and she went back to school at TCU in Denton. She did a wonderful job and I turned out better because of it.

But that does not mean that a man cannot fulfill those responsibilities - with the exception I mentioned earlier. I make sure the boys have breakfast and get off to school. I pay the bills. I plan the dinners (for the most part) and do most of the shopping - grocery and otherwise. Cyndy helps plan and cook dinners and other household duties (I am not minimizing her involvement). I keep my writing ministry going and run most of the errands - picking up and taking the boys to and from activities. Again, I do not do it all. But neither does a stay-at-home mom.

That is all I am saying. Lord knows we all have our place in life. I am simply saying that with all the political correctness and changing of attitudes in society - particularly as to women - I just find it odd that we as a society have not come far enough to accept the fact that a man (not all men, I’m not being stupid) can accept the traditional roles of the father, while at the same time accepting several of the traditional roles of the mother, and be successful at it.

It is late, I am tired, and thank you for listening. I will wake up tomorrow and do it all again. Regardless. The Lord will hear my prayer and enable me to carry on.

Peace be with you.

The First Day of School - Afterword

The first day of school went well for the boys. The youngest actually said it was "great." I hope they continue to have days like that throughout the school year. I think the two years of being homeschooled gave them a newfound respect for the classroom. We did not decide to homeschool them because we thought we could be better teachers. The school district we were in before we moved in January, had, and have, many problems that start at the top and pick up speed rolling downhill toward the students.

Homeschooling was tough on me. For their part, they did not take it seriously enough. And I did not have the time to be able to convince them otherwise. Fortunately, our new school district is of a higher caliber and its employees are well chosen and caring of the students and other people. I no longer need to be apprehensive as I go into the school. Moreover, when I go to the office I am greeted quickly with a smile. As opposed to being ignored until they cannot think of anything else to busy themselves with.

The friendly personalities and attitudes are major factors in our boys saying their first day was great. They did not do much on the first day, but they did get an idea of what was going to be expected of them. The new avenues they will be able to travel toward education. It is too soon to tell for sure, but I am starting to feel like they are ready to work cooperatively in a school environment. Adding the fact that they are going to school with their friends from church and Little League is putting the proverbial icing on the cake.

Even though teenagers have a habit of sucking all the fun a parent could have out of doing things for them by complaining about the gift or surprise or finding something else to complain about rather than saying "thank you," they are excited about school and we are excited for them. One of the signs Cyndy prepared for the boys to see each morning - along with "brush your teeth" and "make it a great day" - is the simple word "Pray." Hopefully, our children will take it to heart and we will be praying for them. As a family, we all know that as we go through each day we have the spirit of the Lord within us.

Peace be with you.

Day of Celebration

This is a day of celebration for me. The boys are back in school. The younger two are back in school for the first time in two years while I have been homeschooling them. Which makes it the first peaceful day I have had in a little over two years. I can start posting here again consistently as well as my other blog www.about-dallastx.com (which I have been keeping up with lately). And my writing projects can pick up speed.

Along with my newly acquired freedom - for at least a good part of the day - was a fatherly sense of concern as I dropped them all off to new schools, new friends as well as old, new experiences, new decisions, and new choices. I cannot help but spend time thinking if they are adapting okay in their new environment. Will something detrimental happen? Will there be a problem?

But the Lord is watching over them and will get them through this day, this week, the school year, and their lives. But a parent still worries - it is part of the job. A job with constant changes, surprises, sadness and joy. Just keep looking for the joy.

Peace be with you.

I Love My Wife

I love my wife,

I love life,

I love my life with my wife.

I love the life the Lord gave me,

I love the life the Lord gave my wife,

And I love life in the Lord with my wife.

I love that my wife loves me,

And loves life with me,

As much as I love life with my wife.

This poem might be silly,

My life with my wife in the Lord is not silly,

Sometimes in our life as husband and wife,

I and my wife and life can be silly,

but we love our life as husband and wife.

I love my wife,

I love my life,

I love my life with my wife.

Ups and Downs

Yesterday was one of those days that makes it quite obvious that life has its ups and downs. And sideways and diagonally - whichever way the wind blows. But I cannot always tell exactly what kind of wind is blowing. Whatever kind of wind is happens to be, it is a strong wind. Today was like the "Forunately....Unfortunately..." joke. That kind of up and down.

The heat these days is a constant. It is neither an up or a down. It just is. But I got up early to take my wife, Cyndy, to work, dropping off our oldest son, Conner, at football practice on the way. The only reason that it was a down was because I’m not good at getting up early. On a good day.

Cyndy and I had been working outside in the heat all weekend and we were both tired. Let me just say we could have slept better. But our bodies were still trying to let the heat dissipate that we had absorbed. Not to mention the hot flashes we have both been going through. Which is not exactly one of the things either one of us wanted to share with the other.

But while Conner was at practice, the younger two boys acted better than they have in a while. Even after Conner came back from practice they all acted like the sons I had not seen for years. Then while all three sons were at the library, I went to the middle school and enrolled Cameron and J.D. into school after two years of my homeschooling them. That was an incredible up for me.

After two years I will be able to be alone at my desk during the day to get my writing done. I will no longer have to wait until after the family goes to bed before doing my writing. Or getting up early and doing what I can before I wake them up. Theoretically they will act better at home because they will not be home as much. The summer with all three of them home has been hard on me. And then on Cyndy when she returned home from work.

Then I fixed fajitas after Cyndy got the fire started while she watered her plants and set out the soaker hoses. The fajitas were good - not just my opinion, that is what they said. Conner had gone on to bed. Four hours of football practice a day is going to have that effect on him. Then the younger two fell back into some old habits. Even if they were not as bad as they have been.

Then a relative called and said some things you would not expect a relative to say. Up and down we go. But, looking at it in my optimistic, realistic way, there were more ups than downs today. As Christians, Cyndy and I try to relish the ups and not put too much emphasize on the downs. Not that we shrug them off. They will need to be dealt with in time. But the up times give us the strength to see the down times through. With faith in the Lord - and his guidance - we will see it all through.

Up and down days do not seem as bad as they do when we go through them in retrospect and after prayer. Which is a good thing. With the school year beginning and church activities beginning to pick up considerable speed, the events and activities will begin to run rampant through my planner. Cyndy and I will feel like ping pong balls.

Peace be with you.

Closure is Misunderstood and Misused

It bothers me how easily words are thrown around so much that they begin to lose their meaning. Then they become used so that the speaker does not have to have a vocabulary or have to use the vocabulary they have. Words like cool, and far-out, - more in my younger days, but I still hear it. There are others of course - genius is another one - but my nemesis of catch-all words or phrases is awesome. These words have grown to have little meaning. They are used because the speaker does not want to think. When someone says "awesome," very few times are they actually in awe of what they are referring to. Most of the time, commendable, or congratulations, anything specific to the actually feeling will work better.

Yet one bothers me about as much as awesome bothers me as a writer. And that is closure. "The family needs closure." "Well, at least he or she or they have closure now." In most cases that is simply not so. In the Dallas Morning News today there was an article detailing how DNA helped to solve a twelve year old missing persons case.

A detective put the DNA of a missing boy’s mother into the database and the database linked it with the DNA of a "John Doe." The family finally knew about their boy. A niece of the boy said the deceased boy’s mother and sister did not want to talk publicly about the news. The niece said "It gives us closure."

I am sorry, but I do not think so. They still do not know how he died or why. The records from the John Doe he turned out to be stated that he had been hit by a train. Even if that is so, they still do not know if it was an accident or suicide. And, at least in this life, they will never know why either way. There will always be questions. To have all the answers would be closure. And several of the questions only God can answer.

The detective who helped to solve the case - whose own brother has been missing for thirty years - stated: "In some sense, I’m sure... [the boy’s] family is relieved to at least be able to put things behind." That my friends, is what we all want. To be able to put it in the past and move on with our lives. I think the detective put it well.

But it is not closure. My younger brother, Dennis, was killed during a robbery twenty years ago. An employee that Dennis, who managed the restaurant, had worked hard to help was the robber/murderer. Dennis left a fourth of July party early the night before so he could fill in the next morning for a co-manager. The employee later said that he was sorry it was Dennis - he really did not want to kill my brother. But he had been planning it for two weeks. Ultimately it did not matter to him who was there - it was already planned.

My brother’s killer is serving life without parole in a California prison. God help me, I was hoping for the death penalty. Looking back, however, I don’t know if I could have handled it if he had been given the death penalty. This way he has the rest of his life to ponder the consequences and the effect his actions had on a multitude of people - including himself.

I still wonder why God let my brother take the extra shift at the restaurant. I wonder why the man did not re-schedule his plan when he saw that it was Dennis. There was an opportunity for him to do so before showing his hand, as it were. At the time I wondered why the Lord did not take me instead. Dennis had the better life at the time. The questions continue. So even though I know all the circumstance surrounding my brother’s death, I still do not have closure.

There is only one way to truly have closure. And that is when you leave this earthly life and return to your heavenly father. Then you will know. Then you will have closure. But by then it will not matter anymore.

Peace be with you.

Climbing - In Trees, On Sheds, and In Life

Our youngest son, J.D. has always been a climber. The doctor did ease him out of Cyndy’s womb - he climbed out. He was reaching the cabinets when he found out shelves made handy steps - almost before he could walk with any confidence. There were times when it appeared that he did not even need toeholds to climb a wall. It was not long before he could be found sitting on top of the refrigerator eating whatever he brought with him. It was usually something he was not supposed to be eating even though it was food of some sort.

When J.D. was big enough to climb trees he began to worry me. Cyndy would tell him to come down and go into the house - she could not watch. All three boys would be practicing casting with the fishing rods or playing with something else that would get caught in the tree. When something was caught in the tree, J.D. had an excuse for climbing the tree. Not that he needed one.

He would climb on the smallest limbs. Some that would begin to vibrate under his weight if not downright shake. I would be getting more nervous and anxious by the second while trying to convince him to come down.

"But, Dad, I’ve almost got it he would say." His perceived goal more important than listening to his father’s worried advice.

When we moved into our new home in January, we had more trees and a shed in the backyard. The tree limbs over the shed were too small to allow access from the trees, but climbing up the fence and then onto the shed was a "piece of cake" for J.D. I would worry all the more when all three of them were on top of the shed. The chances increased of someone falling off - even by accident.

However, at the same time I was anxiously telling them to get down, I was somewhat jealous of the innocent fun they were having While I was telling them not to jump off, I was remembering that jumping off would have been the first thing I would have done at their age. But I had been practicing my art of tuck and roll landing. Which was a concept that has not occurred to my sons. I pictured a serious thud as boy hit immovable object, followed by a trip to the hospital.

I have always had a good sense of my own limits. If I was doing something I was not supposed to be doing, I stopped before my personal offense was more serious than I could explain away and be forgiven for doing. As I grew older I realized I had been smart enough to feel God’s "hand" on my shoulder (more than likely the result of the effect my parents’ words and my Christian upbringing on my conscience.

If you pay attention, to your inner self and your conscience, the Lord will help to lead you toward the right decisions. I long for the day that our teenagers will steer away from following their testosterone and emotionally charged urges towards the spiritually filled conscience and maturity to which Cyndy and I have tried to guide them. Until then I’ll just have to be nervous and anxious until they climb down from the roof of the shed or limbs of the tree. Thanking the Lord when they do so safely yet again.

Peace be with you.

Good Morning!

I Love you with all my heart,

Indeed with my soul,

I cannot imagine life without you,

Nor do I want to.

You are in my thoughts,

In every waking moment,

Even in my dreams,

Every woman turns out to be you.

It is not in my mental capacity

To picture myself with anyone but you.

It is not conceivable to me

To even think of doing so.

The Lord brought us together,

Gave you to me and me to you.

Together we have corrected

Adam and Eve’s mistake.

A being could not be created

by the Lord or Satan,

That could convince us

To betray each other.

My heart is yours,

Be gentle with it,

It is yours - forever,

The rest is God’s.

Peace be with you.

Pop Christianity Marketing

I have been reading "The Culturally Savvy Christian," a book by Dick Staub. In the introduction Staub makes the following statement. "Sadly, I have concluded that the early intellectual and cultural aspirations of evangelicals have, with some exceptions, largely given way to a pop Christianity that mirrors and sometimes exceeds the superficiality of popular culture."

Obviously, there is much more in the book and I am enjoying reading it. But I could not help but be drawn by this statement. In the age of "The Purpose Driven Life," and other similarly books with a cute title designed for marketing with very little substance between the covers. Through advertising and marketing, designed to make an average or newly converted Christian feel like less of a Christian if he or she has not read it. Having a copy on their coffee table, owning the journal - without opening it no one knows the pages are blank except for the first five pages - makes them a stronger Christian. Having the whole set of promotional items - all matching - makes them an even stronger Christian.

The author and marketing machine combine to take cutsy titles with elongated chapters of a standard number of pages (8-10 pages for example). The essence of those pages could be stated by an actual writer in three or four pages, still with asides. The rest is restated drivel. Like the added words of a high school student attempting to stretch a simple thesis into the required number of words for the assignment.

The problem is that "pop Christianity" has been allowed to run rampant because there is a lack of well written, tight, concise material written for small group Bible study. On the mistaken premise that no one will be literate enough to notice. Yet they underestimate the coming of the boomer generation to an older age combined with a more culturally savvy younger generation. Sure, most of the younger generation spends much time online and on video games. Watching television shows based on pop culture nonsense. But they too will grow out of it - it will no longer be enough to satisfy their temporal urges.

Speaking as a boomer, our parents will "retire" from leading small groups - Sunday schools and other groups using small group studies. The younger members (from young adults to those up to sixty years of age) of the Sunday school classes and smaller study groups in the church will not only feel unfulfilled with the material, but come to insist on material with substance. Hopefully the upcoming authors will not fall victim to the marketing shark and stick with truly faith driven material. Until then, the only available material will be more marketing slogan titled material that does not back up the cutely attractive slogans/titles with writing of substance.

Peace be with you.